Living life

I’ve been away most of the time, its been a year and a half since my last post.

Life has not been easy on me.

I took the toughest decision of my life and went for therapy.

Who knew therapy would have adverse effects on me.

Do you dislike life? I’ve come to realize that there isn’t a day that I do not despise being alive. I hate being able to breathe and live, some of you may think how insane. Life’s beautiful. It’ll pass. But no, I’ve made my peace. There isn’t anything left for me here.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a heartbroken by a man feeling. Its very conscious.

If I would die tomorrow, I know I’ll be at peace. There are some who age young and I’m one of them.

Maybe I’ll come back at tell you about the reason I’m like this. Maybe you would know my story and wouldn’t judge me for wanting to get over with life

I hope that maybe is soon.


The girl who doesn’t live anymore.


Rajasthan-Part 1

Ajmer Station

That’s Ajmer Station. Basking in the glory of the sunset!

100_6047 (2)

100_6231So I have been flying to Rajasthan on and off like its my home. Well it isn’t. But being in Rajasthan makes me say things like “This is where I belong!”

My first tryst with this beautiful state came in a small package parcelled to me. In it, 2 tickets to Ajmer. Right in the middle of December. Too many hurried packings later, I was off to Ajmer. Low cost airlines will cost you almost the same as the train ride. But nothing can compare to the journey of a train. The sights you pass by are simply amazing. You will witness nature with all its glory.

Here’s a short video that provides a little preview of what a train journey will be like.

The train journey will last for almost 18 hours compared to the enviable 2 hour flight. But trust me, its worth the view!100_6237

Once you reach the station i.e Ajmer Junction, you can ride a rickshaw upto your hotel (They’re available aplenty here, just ask the auto wala). I wanted to visit the famed “Ajmer Dargah” also called “Dargah Sharif” and hence booked a hotel called “Shahajahan Palace” that was in close proximity to the Dargah ( a 5 min walk). The hotel was clean and spacious, and the room was pretty good. 24-hour hot water supply, butler on call et all for a meagre 3K per night.

Ajmer Dargah

The famed Ajmer Dargah


Coming back to the Ajmer Dargah, it is known to have fulfilled people’s “mannat”, i.e wishes. Couple’s who couldn’t bear children, lost job, no money, and the likes, all problems were known to have disappeared if you ever visited here and prayed with all your heart. (And yes, I prayed too. Wholeheartedly.)



Moinuddin Chishti was known to be revered sufi saint who had as legend says replied to the call of a salaam from the grave. Aurangzeb, Shahjahan’s son was known to demolish Dargah as he did not believe in their piety. He would go around visiting the shrine’s in the Dargahs all over India, and saying “Assalamu-Alaikum” arabic for hello. The shrines which did not reply back were demolished. When Aurangzeb reached Ajmer Dargah, and got no reply from the shrine, he was infuriated and decided to demolish the same. Just as he was about to demolish it, pat came a reply from the grave “Walekum Assalam, I was offering my prayers and hence could not answer you promptly” Aurangzeb was then known to have never broken a shrine.IMAG0170


Flower’s anybody?

Flowers, a shawl, ittar(perfume) to shower at the shrine.

Flowers, a shawl, ittar(perfume) to shower at the shrine.

Semi-precious stones that will transform into religious amulets.

Semi-precious stones that will transform into religious amulets.

Anyways, back to my ranting about beautiful Rajasthan, Ajmer is a beautiful city. Old and filled with history.

Deliciousness in every sip!

You must have a cup of milk from “Masoom Sweet Mart”. It is situated right outside the exit of the Dargah and serves saffron infused milk in the pots made of mud. The flavor is outrageous and leaves you wanting for more!


Shop all you want, this city leaves you wanting for more!

Visit  Ana Sagar Lake,  Taragarh FortTaragarh FortLake Foy SagarLake Foy Sagar, (Contact me here for more) to have a feel of the city.

Marinated chicken which is then slowly roasted over a burning fire of coal

Streetside dinner!

Happy Loving ya’ll!

Next up: Jaipur!

(Watch this space for more!)


Alibag Again!


Last year I visited Alibag, and had a day out with my love.

This time, we looked for a place to stay and enjoy Alibag without having to rush things through..

After having a quick reach to Alibag by a speed boat, we rented out a beautiful villa at Kashid beach. Which I can say without doubt is the best beach Alibaug has to offer. The water all blue, it actually sparkled when the sun shone so high!

And the sand had a beautiful diamond glare to it, it could be the fact that I was high (on love) but I know my eyes don’t lie!

100_5701Watching the sun set, while there is nothing in the world that you would trade that moment with, is absolutely priceless!

There are many villas available right across the whole stretch of the beach, however during the “in-season” bookings can get a lil rough, hence I suggest booking at least a few days ahead to avoid disappointment. The speed boat by which we came is also available for booking online via many sites or you can come up to Gateway of India for a direct booking, which I suggest you only do online.  There are many water sports for a nominal price that one can try on the beach. So go ahead, have some fun people!


Life is a box of Chocolates

downloadI’m not a movie buff, I’m more of the “get me my motivational book” kind.

But when I saw Forrest Gump for the first time, I knew that was a new beginning.

The simplicity of the film moved me to tears and Tom Hanks perfect portrayal with super class acting literally bowled me over. When Forrest Gumps Mamma rightly said, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”; I couldn’t agree more.

WE do not know what life is gonna give us. But we can be prepared to face everything life thrusts on us.

WE can always have hope and faith. In us. In the Almighty. After all, we are never ever given anything we can’t handle. Cos when the going gets tough, the tough get going. We may breakdown, have momentary lapses, but that can never take away the courage thats in us, the strength that we didn’t know we have that shows us just how much the Almighty has powered us with!

The Push



Love pushes us to explore our own boundaries. To work around them and reach levels we didn’t know we could. Things we don’t want to do, or leave for the future, somehow become worth doing if there’s a lil bit of love.

I have a highly obese friend who has been staying at home for the past 4 years. She didn’t step out of her apartment and whenever I went to visit her, I would see her gain more pounds. No matter how much I tried to motivate her to come exercise with me or join a gym, she would always find excuses to not move around. I guess the only time she got out of her apartment was at night maybe fortnightly or so. After a few years I gave up on her, but frequently reminded her of how much she’s missing out in life. She knew what was wrong, but she just didn’t make the leap.

Fast-forward today and I would be damned if I didn’t say how great she looks. She has started working out to utmost my surprise and though she has a long way to go , she has this whole new approach to life. How?

A guy she has fallen hopelessly in love with. So does he give her “motivation” lessons? Naah! All he does is shows her how much she means to him and loves her more day by day. Their love is so feel-good to look at, the way they are for each other.. and how his presence in her life has motivated her to change herself. To change her approach towards life.

Their journey has just begun, but its so beautiful to look at her sweat it out, go for jogs, things like that to get back in shape. For them 🙂

I guess love has this magical presence to it that makes us do things we never wanted to. To change. To believe. For good. 

Weekend Getaway


I have had a hectic November. Round the clock work left me with no scope for even taking weekends off. The University decided to top it with semesters and I was served with one bitter dish. I could take it no more.

I prayed for a change and I was happily granted one. Bang in the middle of my semester’s, I got a message that displayed “Tomorrow  7 am, be ready. Heading to Alibag” . I had butterflies in my tummy. Alibag ! The place held so many memories. My first official trip with my love was to Alibag. Hell, I wanted to reminiscence in it all over again.

For those of you who aren’t Indians, Alibag is a quaint old coastal town in Maharashtra that was built by  Sarkhel Kanhoji Aangre , the naval chief of King Shivaji‘s Kingdom.

It is surrounded by beaches and flanked by tiny little cottages and villages all around. Though since the past few years quite a few buildings have come up.

Alibag has got 7 beautifully breathtaking beaches that one can gaze at forever. Kashid beach, Kihim Beach, Akshi Beach, Nagaon Beach, Alibag Beach, Awas Beach and Varsoli Beach.

We took a 8.15 am ferry from Gateway of India uptil Mandwa port. I should suggest you only take the PNP ferry.  Not only is this the only ferry with safety measures onboard(though we did have to face a ship exchange in the middle of the sea!), it is the only ferry that doesn’t let its catamaran get overcrowded.  I have been going to Alibag since a few years and have personally tried and experienced every catamaran service that the ferries have to offer. One word of caution, never ever get on the catamaran of the Ajanta, I was once placed on a ferry that had no life jackets, no visual-hearing aid and I am pretty sure we were held at the mercy of an unlicensed sailor. Such was the boat ride that I and my other half had exchanged our vows to each other on the ferry and mentally prepared that journey to be our last.

Anyways, moving on. You can either choose to be seated on the upper deck where seagulls will whiz past you and if you’re a little lucky, it may come and sit right beside you on the deck. The lower deck is little mainstream , boring and filled with chatter. But who knows, the aunty beside you will have filmi stories of her conniving neighbour and the girl-next-door with no morals.

You can opt for the A.C seating. (PNP’s lower deck is fully air-conditioned , while the other catamarans have their lower and upper deck without A.C , but they have a tiny room where seating is provided  for A.C.)100_5705

After reaching Mandwa port, we took the bus uptil Alibag beach. The bus ride lasts for usually 15-20 minutes and drops you off to the main Alibag market. We headed towards Kihim Beach, that’s around 10 km from Alibag Beach. Gaze at the clear sky and breathe in the fresh salt-laden air.

All in all, it was one helluva trip. The beaches are so serene and on a weekday, you’re going to feel as if you own the beach. There ain’t gonna be a soul buddy (Save for one or two fishermen in the distant corner, kilometers away) So you can do anything that you want 😉

Go, kiss him right in the middle of the sea, walk bare-feet, feeling complete. Let him pick you up and lay you down slowly on the glistening sand and feel the wind give you goosebumps as your love slides in right beside you. No worries. No world. Just you both . Revel this moment. Cos in the city, such peacefulness is hard to get.

Happy Loving y’all!

Anesthesia at its worst

UntitledGrowing up, I never faced any situation head on. Instead , I quietly sunk into my shell, closed my eyes and thought it to be all a figment of my imagination. Slowly, I convinced myself that things didn’t happen. They were imaginary.

I grew numb. Very numb to situations and never learnt how to deal with them. I imagined myself being oh-so-grownup and handling things like they were meant to be by the time I’d turned 15 ; and once I turned 15, I convinced myself that I am still a baby and I can start facing things when I am 16. As years passed by like this, I kept promising myself that from the next year I would be a better person.

I kept getting numb to the surroundings until people had nicknamed me “the ice-baby” . And there again I convinced myself that nicknames don’t define  me. A generally healthy view.

But I was turning into a train wreck.

I knew I had to stop, but I couldn’t tell anybody.

That’s when I started forcing myself to care for others. I kept pushing myself to ask any and everybody about little things in their life, like their well-being, or how their day went. Things like, “here let me pick up that bag for you“, that evoked a smile from someone lit a warm light in my heart.

This may not seem much, but for me it meant the world. I started helping others without giving any thought . Soon I realized I loved giving the care. For with this giving, I was receiving the gift of being humane.

Though I have not drastically changed,  I know I am on a slow but sure path to recovery.And I try to deal with situations in my own little way.

Sometimes, I give up altogether, but I know I have my better half to lean on when I am  down. Irrespective of anything.

Other days, I fight back. I open myself to emotions. Feel the pain. Lose. Win. Everything. Slow baby steps .

After all, these baby steps are all that matter.

For the world will not see your steps, they will see you and judge you not for your journey, but from the start of your destination to your destination itself. Not in-betweens. Not the struggle.

Someday, this anesthesia will wear off and I will be free of all the numbness, but till then; let me not feel these emotions, for the world is in a sorry state by the amalgamations of these very emotions .




Its Time



The cardinal rule of life is Care. The genuine kind. Almost synonyms to love, care is the most important factor for you to keep in mind. After all , love is nothing but another form of care. For with care, you can change lives.

Caring a little bit for not only your better half ; even the world will open you to a world of emotions you will love to be around. The power that your care has over the simplest and greatest of things. The power where with a little bit of care,  you can change the world. 

The world is filled with examples of people who with a little bit of love changed the face of the world. The ones who selflessly cared for every human being irrespective of any damned factor created by men themselves.

Do I need to remind you of the likes of Mother Teresa or Savitribai Phule?

Didn’t think so!

What I am trying to put in here is, care for people other than your close relatives or friends may be hard to put forth. You wont feel the need to even open your eyes to anything around you other than something that affects you or your family directly. But you have to try. Slowly. A little helping hand to the old aunt who lives upstairs. A kind “how is everything?” to the housekeeper, things like that. They do you no harm. In fact they show you things in a better perspective than before. and it don’t matter if you feel nothing. You gotta try.

Cos the world survives on two things. Care and Love.

After all,  If you want to live in a caring community, you have to be a part of the caring community. 🙂


Lessons learnt in love – 1

Pic courtesy:Google

Pic courtesy:Google

Does love ever play by the rules?


Are there a set of rules that you need to follow in Love?

Yes (and NO)

Every human being has his/her own way of dealing with situations and responding in a different way to it.

Assuming that you current lover will respond in the same way to situations as your previous love is one of the deepest misconceptions youngsters face today.

Instead one should have a clear mind and heart, and open up to the possibility of your better half not behaving in your expected way. Let him/her breathe and give individualistic life into this beautiful relationship that you’ll have just begun.

You will be in for a pleasant (and wonderful) surprise.

That’s all for today people!

Happy Loving y’all!

Escapades in love



Finding love in the city is not easy , and once you find it, keeping it .

Searching high and low, with some pleasant and some not so pleasant experiences, I have found the man I would keep. Forever.

One thing for sure, even though you find someone worth keeping, where imperfections just meet and become one perfect being, keeping the spark alive is no easy task.

It takes effort, lots of it.

Even though you may feel love should be effortless, thanks to all the  Mills and Boons novels, it isn’t.

Efforts in little ways. Sometimes big. Sometimes minute. It all matters.

When you fight for your love, to stay together against the odds, fighting like animals as if there’s no tomorrow, and then slowly but surely seeing above all those fights. Your love for each other. There’s the love story no Mills and Boons  will ever capture.

Once the fight is over, go light the fire . Only where you two can be. In each others arms. Away from the rush. Where its only hush hush.

Happy Loving y’all!